If you’re a new mom who feels like you’re always doing the most but somehow never doing enough, let’s talk. Especially if from the outside, it looks like you’re killing it — juggling feeding schedules, work, nap transitions, laundry, remembering to send thank-you cards — but inside, you’re constantly on edge, overwhelmed, and one toddler tantrum away from a full-on meltdown.
This is what high-functioning anxiety can look like in motherhood.
And spoiler alert? It’s not always obvious. Especially when you’re the type of mom who’s used to being high-achieving, efficient, and “together.” If you’re that mom, you might not even realize what you’re experiencing is anxiety, because you’re so good at managing it — until you’re not.
Let’s break it down.
What Is High-Functioning Anxiety?
High-functioning anxiety is anxiety that flies under the radar. You might not look “anxious” in the way most people picture it — no visible panic attacks, no dramatic spirals. Instead, you look capable. Put-together. Maybe even impressive.
But inside, it feels like:
- An inability to relax, even when things are calm
- Feeling like you’re constantly bracing for something to go wrong
- Needing to do more to feel like you’re doing “enough”
- Overthinking everything (yes, everything)
- Struggling to fall asleep because your brain won’t turn off
- Feeling like if you let your guard down, everything will fall apart
Sound familiar?
How High-Functioning Anxiety Shows Up in Motherhood
Motherhood is fertile ground for anxiety — and if you’re already prone to high-functioning anxiety, adding a baby to the mix can crank the volume up to 100.
Here’s how I see this show up in the new moms I work with (and yes, I’ve been there too):
You plan everything down to the minute
Because the idea of winging it with a baby gives you heart palpitations. Flexibility? Sounds like chaos.
You’re constantly Googling
Your baby’s sleep cues, poop color, developmental milestones… You need to know because not knowing feels unsafe.
You feel guilty for resting
There’s always something you could be doing. Bottles to sterilize. Milestone activities to prep. Laundry to fold.
You overfunction when you feel out of control
When things feel overwhelming, you clean the kitchen top to bottom. You rework your baby’s feeding schedule. You research new car seats. It feels productive — but it’s anxiety-driven.
You have a hard time asking for help
Because “I should be able to handle this.”
Because other moms seem to be handling it.
Because asking for help feels like failing.
So What Do You Do About It?
First, let’s be clear: high-functioning anxiety doesn’t mean you’re broken. It’s your nervous system doing what it thinks it needs to do to keep you and your baby safe.
But that doesn’t mean you have to live like this.
Here’s where to start:
1. Name what’s happening
A lot of moms tell me, “I didn’t even know I had anxiety — I just thought I was Type A.”
Naming it helps. Because once you can see it clearly, you can work with it.
2. Create pockets of nervous system regulation
You don’t need an hour-long self-care routine. You need five minutes to reset. Deep breaths. Getting outside. Putting your phone down. Music that grounds you. Tiny moments matter.
3. Challenge the mental load myth
You don’t have to do it all. Your worth as a mom is not tied to your output. Letting go of perfection doesn’t mean letting go of being a good mom.
4. Talk to someone who gets it
And I don’t just mean venting to a friend (although yes, that helps). I mean getting into a space where you don’t have to over-explain. Where someone can help you unpack the anxiety that’s driving the overthinking, the guilt, and the pressure.
You don’t have to keep running on empty pretending everything’s fine.
Listen — if you’re a high-achieving, high-functioning mom, you’re probably used to muscling your way through hard things. You know how to push through. But motherhood isn’t something you’re supposed to just “push through.”
If you’re exhausted from doing it all — and doing it all perfectly — it’s okay to pause. You deserve support that doesn’t just tell you to “relax” or “enjoy the moment,” but actually helps you understand and manage the anxiety that’s making it so hard to be in the moment.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
I work with high-achieving moms who are tired of pretending they’re fine when they’re not. If you’re ready for therapy that actually gets the unique pressure of high-functioning anxiety in motherhood, let’s talk.
✨ Schedule your free intro call here.
You’re not failing. You’re not too much. You’re a good mom who deserves support, too.
