Breastfeeding grief isn’t talked about enough.
It’s the quiet ache that settles in when your feeding journey doesn’t look like what you hoped for. When the latch never quite worked, when your supply didn’t come in, or when you stopped earlier than planned because your mental health was hanging by a thread.
As a therapist — and a mom who’s been there — I know this grief runs deep. It’s not just about milk. It’s about identity, control, and the impossible standards we set for ourselves.
You might tell yourself, “I should be over it.” But that tug in your chest when someone else breastfeeds? That pang of guilt when you make a bottle? That’s not weakness. It’s unprocessed emotion that is often rooted in old wounds of perfectionism, not feeling “enough,” or trying to hold everything together.
Why Breastfeeding Can Reopen Old Wounds
For high-achieving, high-functioning moms, breastfeeding can tap into long-held beliefs like:
- “If I try hard enough, I can make this work.”
- “If it doesn’t work, it’s my fault.”
- “I can’t ask for help; I should know what to do.”
When that expectation collides with the unpredictability of postpartum life, it can feel like failure. But it’s not failure, it’s trauma.
How EMDR Helps Heal Breastfeeding Grief
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) helps your brain reprocess those painful experiences. The moments of panic, the tears after another failed latch, the feeling of “I’m not enough.”
In EMDR, we don’t erase what happened.
We help your body release the emotional charge tied to it so that you can finally look back with compassion, not shame.
Many moms I work with say EMDR helped them feel at peace with their choices and reconnect with their sense of worth beyond feeding outcomes.
You Deserve to Heal
Whether you breastfed for two years, two months, or not at all your story matters. You don’t need to carry the grief alone.
💛 If this resonates, I’m currently accepting a few new clients this month.
Schedule your FREE intro call here to see if therapy might help you find peace in your feeding journey and in yourself again.
