Let’s be honest: if you’re a high-achieving new mom, you’re probably used to proving yourself through doing. The checked boxes. The clean counters. The productive days. The “I don’t know how she does it” compliments.
But here’s the truth: you are not a to-do list.
You are not the number of things you got done today.
You are not your baby’s sleep tracker stats.
You are not how fast you replied to the pediatrician’s message or how well you remembered to defrost the damn milk.
You’re a person. A whole one. And your worth was never supposed to be measured by how much you can get done in a single day of motherhood.
Why This Hits So Hard for High-Functioning Moms
If you’re like most of the moms I work with — high-functioning, high-achieving, and used to being the one everyone can count on — slowing down feels wrong. Like if you’re not doing something useful, you’re falling behind. Or worse — you’re failing.
Maybe before motherhood, your self-worth was tied to your job, your accomplishments, your schedule, your goals. You were used to having measurable outcomes.
And then you became a mom.
Now your day looks like spit-up, snack crumbs, and bouncing a baby in the dark while googling “how to survive 4-month sleep regression.” There are no promotions for this. No grades. No performance reviews. No external validation.
So what do you do?
You try to overperform at motherhood the way you overperformed at everything else.
You make schedules. You optimize nap windows. You read parenting books during contact naps.
You fill every moment. You hustle. You multitask.
And then you wonder why you’re exhausted and still feel like you’re not doing enough.
Why Rest Feels So Uncomfortable
Here’s the thing I see all the time in therapy: high-achieving moms aren’t just bad at resting — they often feel guilty for even needing it. Because somewhere along the way, you learned that productivity = worth. And motherhood? It’s not “productive” in the traditional sense.
There’s no gold star for staying regulated through a toddler meltdown.
No measurable ROI on cuddling your baby through a contact nap.
No LinkedIn endorsement for managing postpartum rage without screaming into a pillow (okay, maybe just a little).
But these things? They’re huge.
They matter more than a perfectly organized pantry or a daily schedule color-coded by activity type.
You are doing more than enough, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Especially then.
What If You Believed You Were Already Enough?
Let’s sit with that for a second.
What if you believed that your worth wasn’t something you had to earn — not through tasks, not through sacrifice, not through perfection?
What if being a “good mom” didn’t mean doing more, but actually meant being more present with what’s already here?
What if doing “less” sometimes is the most regulated, grounded, and connected choice you could make?
A Gentle Reminder for the Overfunctioning Moms:
- Your baby doesn’t need a perfect mom. They need you.
- The world won’t fall apart if you take a break.
- You don’t need to earn your rest — you’re allowed to need it.
- Productivity doesn’t equal love. Presence does.
What to Do If This Hits a Nerve
If reading this made your chest tighten a little — if part of you feels seen and another part feels deeply uncomfortable — you’re not alone. Unwinding the belief that your worth is tied to how much you do is deep work. But it’s possible. And you don’t have to do it by yourself.
If you’re ready for therapy that actually gets the pressure you put on yourself (because same), let’s talk.
✨ Schedule your free intro call here.
You deserve support that helps you feel like you, even underneath the mental load.
You’re allowed to be a good mom without doing it all.
